Proverbs 31:23 in the New Living Translation says "Her husband is well known at the city gates, where he sits with the other civic leaders."
I surely never thought it could happen to me, but I married this man. The man who is known throughout the city and sits and meets with the other civic leaders (constantly). The man who has a passion to serve his community and to do whatever he can to ensure that African Americans have equal footing in society. The man that works hard all day everyday so that he can provide for his family. That is my husband.
But it often comes up in discussions, as to whether or not, you can be this MAN and spend time with your family. Can this MAN have a work life balance? Or is it up to his family, to understand his passion and make the sacrifice of not spending time with him now, so that they can have all the time to spend together later?
I read a portion of a book called Game Change, about the campaign life of President Barack Obama. And before it all started Barack Obama knew that he needed to convince his wife, Michelle, that running for president would not interfere with their family time. And she asked "Can he be home for Sunday dinner?". A seemingly simple request. One day a week, to spend time with his family and eat dinner. Yet a member of his campaign team recalls thinking "No, he can't be home for Sunday dinner. He's running for president."
Now, while my husband isn't running for president of the United States, he does hold some very important positions throughout the city. Which do call for, at times, sacrifice and submission. Sacrificing time and submitting to the man that God purposed my husband to be.
While I may not like having to eat dinner with our daughter alone, or try to keep a curious toddler quiet while he's on an important conference call, or wait for him to finish his meeting and the meeting after the meeting, and the debrief after that meeting, just to have a conversation with him. I know that God has created him for such a time as this. And God placed me in his life to help him along the way. That doesn't necessarily mean attending meetings and the like, but simply understanding what he is trying to do. Praying for him everyday. And submitting to the man that God has placed in position of authority over me.
Whether being married to the MAN that sits at the city gates and meets with other civic leaders or the MAN who works at the grocery store gathering carts, we have to remember there will come a time for sacrifice and submission. And if you don't know how, just ask the Holy Spirit :)
Luke 17:9-10 (NLT) "And does the master thank the servant for doing what he was told to do? Of course not. In the same way, when you obey me you should say "We are unworthy servants who have simply done our duty."
Recently I was taken out of a leadership position and to be honest it really bothered me. And as I was talking to my sister about it, she asked me "did you want to do it?" As I thought about it, I really didn't have desire to do it. I mean I was ok if I did and ok if I didn't (so I thought). When I thought even deeper about it, I realized that I was really only doing it for two reasons, (1) because of the stipend and (2) because of the title. And even though I would not admit it, God knew my heart. I was not doing it to truly serve. I like when people come to me, when people need me, to be apart of something. But the truth of the matter is, that is not a true servant. That is not the command that Christ gave to us.
As a mother and wife it is my JOB to take care of my family, in that role I am God's servant. As a teacher it is my JOB to ensure that my students are prepared, in that role I am God's servant. As a student it is my JOB to do my assignments, in that role I am God's servant. As being a part of a ministry, it is my JOB to do what the ministry leaders instruct me to do, in that role I am God's servant. God commands us to serve, it is our JOB. And so I am realizing that I should not be looking for recognition or praise for doing my JOB. After all, it is my JOB. When my students say, "I did my homework" and then look for some type of reward, I gently remind them "Well that is your job".
Several times the Bible reminds us that we should work as though we are working for the Lord, rather than man. Then will we receive our reward in heaven. So from here on out I am going to do my JOB and not complain about it.......well I'm going to try my best.
1 Corinthians 7:4 (NLT)
"The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife."
I can recall hearing of a person I knew that was having an affair. A friend of mine commented "we better go home and love our husbands". Now I know that we (wives) can do all the right things and love him in all the right ways and give him authority over our bodies, and sometimes he still strays. But I for one must admit that I could love my husband more, and more than that allow him to love me more. There are so many things that consume my mind and time as a wife and a mom, but I have to let him know.....stay right here. With so many different ways to access sex out side of the marriage (porn, prostitutes, women who are ready and wiling to "do what you won't do") our job as wives is to let our husbands know to stay right here......going elsewhere isn't necessary.
